Have You Changed?
by Valkyarie
Summary: This is the story of Solas and the Inquisitor(F) after the Trespasser DLC. It will have some sex in later chapters.
1. Chapter 1

" _Has it affected you? Changed you in any way? Your mind, your morals, your…spirit?"_

" _If it had, do you think I'd have noticed?" I raise an eyebrow._

" _No, that's an excellent point." Solas smiles._

" _Why do you ask?"_

" _You show a wisdom I have not seen since…since my deepest journeys into the ancient memories of the Fade. You are not what I expected."_

" _Sorry to disappoint."_

" _It's not disappointing, it's…(Sighs.) Most people are predictable. You have shown subtlety in your actions, a wisdom that goes against everything I expected. If the Dalish could raise someone with a spirit like yours…have I misjudged them?"_

" _The Dalish didn't make me like this. The decisions were mine."_

" _Yes, you are wise to give yourself that due, although the Dalish, in their fashion, may still have guided you. Perhaps that is it. I suppose it must be. Most people act with so little understanding of the world, ...but not you."_

" _So what does this mean Solas?"_

" _It means I have not forgotten the kiss."_

" _Good." I say, as a soft smile crosses my lips. Maybe, he's finally ready. I've wanted to kiss him for months, ever since our trip to the Fade, when I was denied the real thing._

 _The dimming sunlight makes the mountain shimmer ever so elegantly, making time feel so much slower, sort of dream-like. I keep my arms held back so as not to panic him, and as gently as I can, I lean towards him. My heart stops…. He is shaking his head, and about to walk away, just like every other time. Not this time Solas, please...not again._

 _I grasp his arm softly. "Don't go."_

" _It would be kinder in the long run, but losing you would…" He turns around quickly, placing his right hand on the small of my back, pulling my waist towards him. He kisses my lips ever so tenderly…pulling back for a split-second, almost hesitantly; he waits until I deepen the kiss, pressing our bodies together. The kiss is clean, loving, and full of desire. Just as the blood starts to rush to my head, he pulls away with a distant expression._

" _Ar lath ma, vhenan (I love you, my heart)_ _._ _" Are his last words as I watch him walk away._

Staring at the ceiling of my tent, my eyes focus on the tiny holes above my head. That memory still haunts me. Leaving me longing for a man, who can no longer love me, who may have... never loved me. After our battle with Corypheus, Solas disappeared, so effectively that even Lelianas' spies could not find a trace of him. Leliana reported that she was able to find the village he mentioned before he joined the Inquisition. It was destroyed, and had been for centuries, untouched over the ages. Solas had said it was his village, and that it was so small it wouldn't be found on any map. _How long had it been vacant? Did he actually live there at some point? Or was it just a false lead made up for Lelianas' spies to follow?_

 _Oh Solas…_

As I open the door to my tent, the sunlight greets my eyes with its familiar sting. _Why is it always so bright on mountains? Why can't there be more trees_? It's week 5 in my search for Solas. I get the occasional raven, so I know which direction to go in, but they're coming less often the farther I go. I'm here right now because there are a few Dalish clans nearby. Yesterday, I came across some of the hunters from the Ralaferin clan. They offered to host me tonight, and I think it might be a good place to ask for any rumors of eluvians. The last raven brought news confirming that Solas has been spotted near more than one known eluvian in the region. Although, Morrigan told me that there were no more active mirrors, I think it is worth searching them out.

"Aneth ara." A young elf huntress greets me as my eyes regain their focus.

"Aneth ara sister." I bow as a sign of respect. " How has the day greeted you thus far?"

She frowns at my words "You are no sister of mine, outsider, you are not of the people. I am here upon my keeper's request to escort you to our camp. Be sure to keep up, I'm your escort, not your nurse maid." She huffs and takes the small group of hunters to the eastern part of my camp, presumably giving me time to collect my belongings.

"How far away is your camp? I had not seen any signs of regular movement in this area." I ask, trying again to end the silence that has stretched on for the past few hours.

"You're right, this area is not often traveled due to certain plants that are common here. They are very poisonous, and have unpleasant reactions when touched. However, they do make an excellent poison for our hunters' arrows."

"Poisons huh? That's great. I was sleeping in poison." I reply.

" You're either very lucky or very stupid. Any hunter can spot those poisons."

"Yes well, I'm not from around here. Your plants aren't exactly the same as the ones I'm used to" I add with an agitated tone.

"You should have know better, you are after all…"Andraste's Herald", you'd think you'd know where not to sleep." The girl says smugly.

Some time later I start to notice track marks and trails in the area.

"So… is the camp far then?" repeating my question.

"It's near now… Thank the Creators. I tire of walking with you and your clunky footsteps. You must have scared away all the animals nearby. You do the hunters no favor; your armour is too loud for the forest. Although, your failings are nothing our hunters cannot surpass. They are unequal in their skill." A young male hunter responds in kind.

We continued on for a time until the camp finally came into view. It was a riverside camp, to my surprise. The water must be from a spring somewhere in the mountain.

"Andaran atlsh'an da'len (Enter this place in peace little one). My name is Gisharel, and I welcome you to our camp. I hope your travels were pleasant." An elder man greets me with a warm and kind smile.

"My travels were pleasant of course Keeper, how could they not in such a beautiful land as this?" I smile back pleased to see a friendly face.

"I understand that you come seeking the knowledge of the people. Is there something specific that interests you? Or simply your peoples knowledge and their history?" he asks as he leads me through the camp to the gathering place around the fire. This is the fire, in which the storytellers tell their tales to the children.

As we take our seats by the fire the Keeper makes gestures to the nearby children, which soon after return with some warm bread and some slightly charred pieces of meat. "I seek the knowledge of the past Keeper, and it is of the utmost importance to the Inquisition and our people." I frown sadly, and look to the Keeper with desperation.

"It is a long story. It's hard for me to admit, but I trusted a man with more then I would trust any, and in trusting him, I have given him the ability to harm so many... I want to show him that this world is as important as the world he left behind."

"Such a dilemma is too much for one soul bare da'len. Why would you come here alone if so much is at stake?" The Keeper asks with concern and compassion. His eyes staring off into the darkening skies, as the smoke from the campfire rises from the forest floor.

"No one else believes that his mind can be changed... I believe that he doesn't want this world to end, but that he cannot live with the past consequences of his actions. He seeks a way to resolve his guilt of a past action that has caused unimaginable pain and sadness." My eyes water at the thought of Solas wandering the countryside alone with such a weight on his shoulders.

"My child, forgiveness will never erase the pain and grief caused, in whatever situation this may be. Your friend will never find what he seeks, as he must forgive himself first before trying to heal the wounds he has inflicted upon others."

I pause a moment to let the Keepers words sink in. "...He will never forgive himself for what he has done...But if the people he hurt knew what he saved them from, they would thank him as I do. His actions had the best of intentions..."

He nods silently and takes my hand gently into his.

"What is it, that the shemlen say da'len? "The road to Hell is paved with good intentions?" How do you know for certain this man had not wished for this out come?"

"Because he is so worn down by it. He talks of fixing his mistakes like it can be erased so simply, but it costs too much. This World cannot afford to fix his mistakes Keeper." I look into the fire as a tear falls down my cheek. "That is why I need to know where your ancestors kept their eluvian. It is the only way I can find him. I need to make him see." His warm and withered hand wipes away my tear ever so softly as he turns my face toward him.

"The eluvians have been broken since the time of Arlathan my child. They will be of no use to you. The wrathful spirits of my ancestors reside in the ruins, but if you can get passed them you are welcome to examine what is left of this clans eluvian. I only ask that you stay with us this night and enjoy the culture of your people, before taking on such a sorrowful journey." He looks into my eyes with a look Solas used to have, a look of worry.

"Thank you Keeper, you don't know how much this means to me." I squeeze his hand to reassure him that I will be fine.

That night the clan came together to celebrate a youngling coming of age, he had made his first clean kill, a large wild boar. The meat was tender and sweet. To go with the boar a few casks of traded wine were opened and shared among the crowd. We danced into the night and ended it with a few tales from the clan storyteller.


	2. Chapter 2

_"Why do you bother ma vhenan(my heart)? This world is not worth saving. Nothing is comparable to the world of the past. It will burn, as you will, when the anchor finally takes your worthless life." Solas sneers as he walks over my broken body._

 _"Why Solas... what has this World done to deserve this fate? Do you hate us so much?" Tears streaming down my face as I pull my body up from the ground, my legs useless and broken. I'm covered in bleeding wounds, my head pounding, water rushing in my ears, and yet his words are crystal clear. Looking up at him from the floor I can see the forest ablaze, smoke rising into the sky. He is smiling with a sadistic grin; he has never looked so evil. He's done it. White-hot pain shoots through my arm. The anchor is burning, it's unbearable. I scream, but no sound comes out. As my vision begins to blur from blood loss, I see a white wolf at the edge of the forest walking towards us. He stands before my battered body. His fur blowing in the wind, snowdrift floating in the air. A quivering voice leaves my lips..."Is it over?" I close my eyes one last time..._

"Hey! Wake UP! Wake up girl! We have a long day ahead of us if you're still keen on visiting the ruins above the mountain."

My eyes snap open, breath caught in my throat. _What's happening? Where_? Looking around I can see that I am still in the Dalish camp. I take in a deep breath to calm myself. My dreams are getting so vivid...too real, but if I don't stop Solas it may as well be reality.

"…. Morning, when was it we were leaving again?" I ask groggily looking into the face of an elder male hunter.

"Thank the Creators you woke up! I thought you'd gone and entered uthenera (immortal sleep) for a moment, seeing as how deep you were sleeping. Good thing you didn't though, huh? Cause then you'd be out for a couple centuries." He grins. "Keepers asked me to take you up to the ruins. I plan on being back before dark so...let's get a move on."

I nod sleepily, as I begin to pack up my things. "Let me help you with your tent, I know those things can be difficult to pack sometimes." He says as he reaches for my dismantled tent.

"I've packed a small bag with some supplies and food incase you've run low. We should make good time if we only stop once, about half-way up around noon." He says as he passes me my packed tent.

"Thank you for your helpfulness, it is not as common here as I had hoped it would be. The people do not take kindly to elves without the tattoos of their chosen god."

"It is unfortunate, yes, but it has become our nature to be hesitant of newcomers. It is said that our ancestors interaction with the shems is the reason why we lost our immortality." he snorts in disdain.

"So excuse me, if I find it acceptable that we are wary of others, as we cannot know what they will bring into our lives now and in the future." He says as we begin our trek up the mountain.

We continued up the mountainside uninterrupted until we came to the entrance of the ruins. The view of the forest is beautiful from up here. Across the valley you can see the tops of other mountains covered in snow, a beautiful lake surrounded by a small meadow and birds flying below making the scene so alive and breath taking. I can see why the ancient elves chose this place as their home, as very few places can be described as this magnificent.

"Travel safe dal'en, these ruins have been left to rot, and may have become dangerous to those who walk its ancient halls. I do not know why you wish to walk them alone, but I prey the Dred Wolf never catches your scent. Walk safe and free child." the old man says, as he grasps my hand and embraces me as one would embrace family.

"Do not fear for me my friend, I am stronger than I look." I say as I try to put on a smile. As he turns to leave I whisper, " _If he caught my scent…which way would he run?"_

The entrance to the ruins is nothing more than a hole in the ground, as if the ceiling caved in at some point and created it. Once inside the ruins I run into the typical cave dwelling creatures. There were some skeletons and spiders running around the place but my sword easily took care of them. The ruins are extensive, so each time I clear out a room I make a small note on a piece of paper. It's not the best map, but I'm glad to have anything to keep me from getting lost in this spider-infested hole in the ground.

I managed to make a mess of my map, spider blood, runny ink and being crumpled up over and over again has made it almost impossible to read. I think this next room is one I haven't been to yet. Suddenly, I can feel it. A sickening feeling, like my skin is crawling with bugs, and the hair on my body begins to stand on end. It is the same feeling I got the last time I was near an eluvian.

In front of the door, there is a life-sized statue of a hooded elven woman holding a golden bowl. What it once held is uncertain, but looking around I can see that there are basins of water nearby. I bow to the statue in front of the doorway and proceed to collect water from the nearby pools. The water is clean and untouched, unlike the rest of these ruins. The water looks drinkable, even after all these years. I grab a nearby pot floating in the water, and fill it up to the brim. Carefully I take the urn to the statue, and tip it slowly into the golden bowl. The stones behind the statue begin to rumble as the brickwork slides away into the rest of the wall. Dust fills the room, making it hard to see anything. Coughing, I look behind the statue to see a beautiful receiving room. It is adorned with more statues like the first, except these hold braziers which once held flames; the ancient embers still in them. The floor is an intricate work of art, murals of the past. In the center of the room is my prize. The eluvian. Walking into the room the air becomes heavy and cold. Skeletal figures rise from the ground, tearing apart the beautiful murals on the floor. I raise my sword, pointing it at them. " Ma halam! (you're finished)". I say, as I run at them with full speed.

As they start to over take me, my arm begins to glow from the anchor. It burns so much, but I cannot stop... I try to do as the Tevinter magisters taught me, to use the pain against them. I grip my sword harder and my swings become more powerful after each successful hit. Soon the room glows with an eerie green light as the anchor leaches into my blade. As my last swing takes down the final revenant, I fall to one knee. I manage to stabilize myself by holding onto my blade. I stay there breathing heavily. The anchor will not kill me, but it still takes so much out of me when it flares up. I look at my glowing arm with grief; unfortunately this was the best solution the magisters could come up with. I down a few health potions I had packed for my trip. _Only two left, better be more cautious from now on…_

Standing, I put my sword away, and I walk slowly to the eluvian. After so long, I am finally here. "Irassal ma ghilas ma'arlath...(Wherever you shall go my love...) I whisper, as my hands glide over the surface of the eluvian. With those words I can see where I want to go, Solas, standing before his people... _giving inspiring speeches, no doubt_ , I think smiling to myself. The mirror takes hold of my hand with a tar-like grip, the more I pull, the stronger it pulls back. At last, I release my resistance and let it pull me through to the other side. Gods guide me.

I stand on the other side of the mirror, blinded by morning light. The gentle breeze runs across my face, it is so welcoming compared to the stagnant air of the ruins. Looking around, I see the tents of people in the surrounding area, _elves no doubt. Eager to take from Solas, any power he can give them_. I walk away from the mirror to the altar ahead. Solas is standing there, his back to me, facing the crowd below him. "Solas?" I say softly, as I get closer to him. He does nothing. "Solas." I say again more firm this time. He turns around quickly this time, "...Ma vhenan?" He is shocked and concerned, but I can see the small smile he hides.


	3. Chapter 3

"How is it that you are here?" he asks more assertively.

"I...I am here with the help of our people, I've come to speak for those who have no voice in what you wish to do here." I say standing before him.

"There is nothing you can do vhenan, I cannot change what must happen." he frowns, his eyes wandering my body and stops on my left arm. His expression changes to one of puzzlement.

"What have you done to your arm? How is it that the anchor has not consumed you? It was so unstable when last we met." He reaches slowly for my arm, gently taking hold of my hand. He is unable to see the runes written across my arm because they are hidden beneath my armour. Pulling away quickly from embarrassment and anger I yell, "Why would you care? What was it you said? "I would not live to see the world" as you burn it? Well I will, and I won't let you do it." tears begin to form at the corners of my eyes.

"Ma'arlath (my love), I would never harm you. You know it was never my intent for you to be harmed by the anchor. I would not want you to see the destruction of your world either, both are things I would never wish upon you." He says as he reaches again for my arm.

"Stop it!" I yell again "Do you look out of concern for me? Or intrigue that you could still use the anchor for your plan? ...It doesn't matter. I want you to know that your plan will fail. As we speak, those faithful to the Inquisition are spreading word of your plan to the elven clans across Theadas. From what I've heard, the majority does not support it. You will kill them, as much as everyone else." I look down at those clustered below, they are few, ragged, and worn. "Who will follow you into this new world you create?" I look into his eyes. "Solas please, the elves are free, they struggle, like all people, but they are free. You would not subjugate them to slavery again would you? The Dalish would sooner die than submit again to such a fate, you know that! You would be committing thousands of your own people to death if you follow through with your plan."

"I look, because I am concerned with your wellbeing vhenan. Do you think me such a monster that I would harm the one being important enough for me to turn away from the Fade itself? I would not blame you if you did...because it is true. The elven tales can tell you of my wicked nature, if you'd sit at the fires and listen to them. Even being the terrible Fen'Harel, I would not let the false gods harm those who have survived. I have a plan for them, and it should keep the people safe after everything has settled." Solas responds, standing at a distance. He is hurt by my words, I can see.

"I've been sent to convince you, or kill you Solas. Please don't make me do the latter. If the lives of your people are not enough to convince you to stop this irresponsible and sickening plan, then nothing will." I say as I reach for my weapon. "What is your decision? Will you stop, or kill the world and myself in the progress?" My large sword is at the ready in front of me. A burst of green crackling light comes out of my hand, and consumes the metal of my sword.

Solas stares at my weapon transfixed for a moment. Looking up he stares into my eyes with sadness. "I cannot Ma'arlath, and you know you will not survive if I choose to fight you. You could become a statue in seconds, so why do you bother? Please, put your sword away and leave. Live the last days of your life in relative peace before the end comes for you... as it comes for all of us."

"I will not. This World is worth dying for Solas, and if you must destroy it, you must destroy me along with it." I say, and whisper in hushed tones, "Forgive me my love, I cannot let you repeat your mistake." I run at him with my blade extended. He does nothing, and just watches as I rush him. Solas looks miserable as he sighs, "Dareth shiral, ma'arlath (Safe journey, my love)." His eyes flash bright blue as time slows down. The anchor flashes brighter, burning and hot. Sound comes quickly as time returns to normal as I finish my swing, snapping his staff in two. Sparks and magic escapes his staff. It is useless, no more than a stick to him now. He is stunned, but manages to roll out of the way of my second swing in time. This swing catches his robe, leaving it tare at the edge. "It's not possible. How did you...?" He manages to say, as I swing at him a third time.

He casts a burst spell against me, sending me flying through the air. My head is pounding, as I stand up, sword ready. "It's not easy to cast without a staff to focus your spells, is it…Solas?" I say, as I prepare to rush him again. His followers have crowded around, excited to see their "master" in action. I ignore them, as I rush at Solas for a heavy blow. Without warning a follower steps out of the crowd. I move to avoid him, and in this action he grabs onto me. In seconds I feel the warmth dripping down my side. As I turn my head to look, I see the follower stepping back with a proud smile on his face and a bloody dirk in his hand. Without warning, I cough. Dropping my sword I wipe my mouth, only to see blood. I cannot breathe. Wheezing, I look to Solas with sorrow in my eyes. "Dareth, ma vhenan...(Be safe, my heart)"


	4. Chapter 4

Solas's POV

Lavellan pushes the man away weakly, and coughs. Something is wrong though, she's stopped in her tracks. I look closer to see that she is wiping blood away from her mouth, but why? The man smiles and holds a dirk to the crowd, and they cheer. That son of a bitch stabbed her! I look to her again, and she's on her knees. Blood is dripping from the corner of her mouth. "No! Vhenan!" I scream, as I run to her side. As she kneels, she looks at me with tears in her eyes, and croaks..."be safe my heart". As I reach her, I place her body across my lap and hold her head with one hand while the other searches for the wound. If I can find it, I can try to focus my magic and heal her, but it's not working. I can't focus, she's slipping away! I look to her face. She is gone. I hold her closely, and cry over my loves dead body.

The followers crowd around me, whispering among themselves. The man whom killed my love stands apart and speaks out "Why do ya give a damn about that shem lovin' bitch, Fen'Harel? She ain't worth anyones time. She's dead, and you should be rewardin' me for giving you a hand." He says with such arrogance. I lay her body on the ground ever so gently, fixing a stray hair. I touch her face, for the first time in months before turning around to face this "man".

Angrily I send a burst of arcane energy towards the man, knocking him roughly into the side of the mountain. "You presume to know, what I should, and shouldn't do? You, who are nothing more than a greedy man in search of power? Do you even know what you've done you wretched fool? That was the Inquisitor, and ma vhenan'ara (my heart's desire). I would sooner kill you than reward you." I snarl at the man. Turning to the other followers I call some to me. "Bind him, and bring him to my tent. Leave this area for a time. I must be alone." I say as I turn back to my loves lifeless body. Kneeling I pick her up like a child, and approach my altar. Placing her carefully on the alter, I hold her hand while resting my forehead against hers. "What have I done vhenan?" I whisper to her, my eyes stinging with tears of grief.

As I walk into my tent, I see the man bound and gagged in the corner of the room, he is scared but at least he is alive. Unlike Lavellan. I walk to my desk and examine my papers, plans and schemes for breaking away the Veil. Frustrated I search frantically through my papers for something, anything relating to the dead and how to bring someone back. There must be something here. I can't lose her so easily, and so soon. If this fool hadn't been there I could have relocated our camp, and later released Lavellan from the statue's form. But now...what can I do? Enraged I flip the table and toss it aside. The pieces of wood, papers, and his dirk fly across the room. "Look at what you have done! I don't know how to bring her back!" I yell, lifting him up by the front of his shirt. "Why should you're worthless life be spared, while she lays out there dead because of you?"

He stares at me with fear in his eyes, shaking his head desperately. "You will die from the same blade you killed her with." I say as I reach for his dirk laying on the floor. I push the knife into his chest, and watch as the life leaves his eyes. I release him, letting his body slump into a pile on the floor. After a time, I go out and get someone to take away his body. I sit in my chair with my head in my hands. It's as if the world is crushing down upon me. Soon exhaustion claims my mind, and I drift into the warm embrace of the Fade.

Lavellan's POV

Inquisitor? Is that you? I've never seen you so shiny!

"Cole? Is that you?" I say as I look around.

"It is I. I didn't expect you here so soon, but I felt you coming. I am here."

"It is great to see you again my friend! I'm sorry to say, but you make much more sense in the Fade." I say smiling sadly.

"Am I really dead Cole? Is it all over? I look to him with deep regret.

"Maybe, but we still have a chance to change things. Come with me." He says as he takes my hand and leads me further into the melting Fade.

Hours later we emerge from the mists into a clearing that looks like Solas's camp. "Do you remember now? Do you know who you are?" Cole asks as we walk towards Solas's tent slowly through the fade, wisps of fog passing between our feet. The camp is dead silent, the sky is grey, the clouds unmoving.

"Yes, I know who I am. Most importantly, I know who I am to him. Thank you my friend... for everything." I walk transfixed into Solas's tent and see him sitting in his chair facing his bed. Even here he does not sleep.

"Tel'enfenim, da'len, Irassal ma ghilas, Ma garas mir renan, Ara ma'athlan vhenas, Ara ma'athlan..." (Never fear little one, wherever you shall go, follow my voice, I will call you home, I will call you home...) I whisper as I take a seat before him.

Solas's POV

"Would you like some tea Solas?"

I open my eyes, and look across the room to see the Inquisitor sitting on my bed, holding out a cup of tea. She is spectral, and glowing, the brightest I've ever seen a spirit glow. White and untainted, different from other spirits. ...a rare an beautiful spirit, the words come to mind, a memory that seems to have happened centuries ago.

"Ma'arlath! I am so sorry... had I known what that man would do I would have slain him the moment I saw him. Can you ever forgive me?" I move towards the bed and sit beside her, taking her hands in mine. "Please, this is not how it was supposed to be. I would do anything to change it." My heart is left is beating rapidly in my chest.

"My love, there is nothing to forgive. I failed my mission, but I gave it one hell of a try didn't I?" She smiles warmly at me. Guilt fills my heart, after everything I've done, will do, she still forgives me.

"No one could have done better." I say squeezing her hand. I look away from her and say, "I tried to bring you back. I searched my mind and the Fade, for hours, but I couldn't find anything. With everything I know, everything I've been through you'd think I'd have stumbled across something."

She pulls her hands from mine, and places the tea on the side table. She looks into my eyes, and reaches up with her hand to gently caress my face. "I missed your touch my love. The months without you were not easy. But sadly I am here for more then just to comfort you." Her thumb glides across my lower lip. "What I would give to feel your lips again..."she mumbles quietly.

"I need you to remember my love... remember the little girl in Arlathan. How you found her, a small broken body left on the side of the road. There was a spell you performed, blood magic that brought her back to life, for a life."

"Yes... I remember her. She was so scared when we saw her wandering the fade. She told us that a band of humans had found her, had their way with her and killed her when they were finished. We felt so much anguish at her loss that we asked those living nearby if they were willing to give her a second chance at life. I think... I think it was an elder bear that gave its' life up for her. But, how would you know that memory? There were only two of us there, myself and Mythal." I look at her with suspicion, and look her over again.

"Can you not feel it? I know I've become different over the ages, but I know deep down I've essentially remained the same." She looks down at herself, and her hands.

"I don't believe you! It can't be true! Mythal was with me outside of the Fade, she gave me her essence soon after Corypheus was destroyed. How could you possibly be Mythal?"

"I died. My spirit moved on, and was reborn over the years, multiple times in fact. What you met, was a fragment of what once was. It never healed, and never got over the betrayal." she says with a frown.

"Then why didn't you speak up sooner? How were you not recognized by your own loyal servants and followers? How didn't you know me?"

"I wish I had known...but I couldn't because, the knowledge of my past lives remain here. If you were reborn with the memories of your previous lives, I'm sure you'd go mad. At least that is my understanding. I did not know who you were or who I was, until I died." she says with a sigh. She comes to stand next to me and takes hold of my hands as she says desperately "Please, there isn't much time. You need to perform the ritual before my body becomes too decayed. I will send a friend to you, who wishes to return to the fade in my place."

I wake, slumped in my chair. Quickly, I look across from me, in hopes that her death was only a dream. But she is absent. There is neither tea, nor wrinkled sheets where she sat on my bed. It is... as I left it. Hesitantly, I turn my head to the doorway, and look to where I left her. She lies there; on the slab of stone I call an altar. The setting sun adds a beautiful hue to her skin, with it she might have been mistaken for alive. I walk towards my bed, and reach under the mattress for my dagger. I exhale deeply as I walk through the door, dagger in hand.


	5. Chapter 5

Outside there is a cold breeze, the sun is setting. It appears it will rain. "This must be quick, as she will be near death when she returns...if she returns at all." I think as I walk towards her. Looking down at her, I can see that she has become pale, so much so that her lips hold a bluish tinge. A moment passes as I stare at her, so lifeless and empty. It's wrong; she was so full of life. It is just...so unfair...I think before my attention is drawn away as a large shadow falls across her body. "What in the name of...?" I say as a large raven sits on her chest. I stare at it, and it begins to pluck at her limp hair, cawing. "Get out of here you beast!" I yell as I wave my arms in the air at it. It flies up for a moment, but lands again on her chest. I am furious, and begin to throw rocks at it, trying to scare it away. It doesn't move from her, but opens its wings and caws at me a second time. I rush over to her body and try to shoo it away, but nothing seems to work. My hand brushes against her bare skin. She is so vulnerable, so lifeless, and so cold... I won't let this, this plague-ridden bird... defile her body. I think, as I move to scare it away again, but this time with magic.

A quick flash of colour changes my surroundings. It's the same, but different, it is less colourful, but more alive. Something takes hold of my hand tightly, causing me to look down quickly. She's holding onto my hand. I look at her face, but she's frowning. "Leave the bird alone! You're going to make him leave." she says firmly. I stare at her and then to the bird sitting on her chest, it caws with laughter. "That's right boy. Better leave me be, or your little friend here can stay in the Fade" the bird screeches loudly. "This bird is your "friend"? He's pecking at your body like it's some roadside corpse." I add frowning at him. Why would she pick a raven to carry her? They are tricksters by nature, but then again, so is the Dread Wolf...

She smiles as she looks at me, "Because this little guy misses his mate, and wants to help a pair of star-crossed lovers." she says as she scratches the ravens neck. "He's a big softie on the inside, but tires of a world without meaning. I thank you my friend, it won't be for nothing. I promise you."

"Are you sure Vhenan? What if I'm not powerful enough to perform the ritual properly? I was in my prime the last time we did this, and I had you to help me. Now, I am performing it on you, alone.

"You can do it. I believe in you Solas. You are smart, strong and cunning. Even after everything that's happened, I trust you. May the Creators have mercy on me. I trust that you are still the same man ...different, but essentially still the same." she says with a wink.

I blink only to see that the world has returned to normal. I take the dagger in my left hand, and hold it's blade to my right palm. Wincing, I slowly drag the knife into my skin and create the Elvhan symbol for life. My blood slowly drips onto the raven and my love. Shakily, I place my right hand on Levallan's forehead, and wipe each eyelid with my blood. It is done so that she will be able to enter her body within the fade.

I take a deep breath and begin the ritual..." Elgara values, da'len, melava somniar, mala taren aravas, ara ma'desen. Iras ma ghilas, da'len, ara ma'nedan ashir, dirthara lothlenan'as, bal emma mala dir, tel'enfenim, da'len, trassal ma ghilas, ma garas mir renan, ara ma'athlan vhenas, ara ma'athlan vhenas."

(The sun is setting, your time has come, but the fight has not ended, and this fight must be won. You stand at a crossroads, between life and death. I am calling you home, to fight for your clan. We send for your spirit, to return to the world. Be lost no more, I am calling you home.)

As the words leave my lips, I open my eyes. A bright column of light emerges from Lavellan's body. The raven's wings are flapping slowly as it hovers above her. Time seems to slow as tendrils of light emerge from her chest, wrapping around the crow's wings, and body. The tendrils of light look gentle. The bird appears to be embraced with light itself. It is pulled into her chest, and merges with her body in a brilliant flash of light. I shield my eyes from the sight, and when I look back... her chest rises.

Weakly, I go to her side as fast as I can. Her pulse is faint, but it is steady. I lean down, and kiss her lips. As I do, she opens her eyes. Her smile is more beautiful than it ever was. I wrap my arms around her tightly, as though I might lose her again if I let her go. She lifts her hand and touches my face as she did in the Fade, before she returns the kiss.

Gently I lift her body from the altar, and bring her into my tent. I lay her on my bed as softly as I can and dig through my scattered belongings to find some healing potions. There are a few, so I bring them over to her. Gently, I lift her so that she will be able to drink the potions, with these she should heal faster. Without my staff my magic is too unstable to use on her. After she drinks the potions she falls asleep quickly, unable to keep her eyes open for more than a few moments at a time. She must be exhausted. When the little girl went through this ritual it took her weeks to regain her strength. I feel ma vhenan will be no different. That night I fell asleep next to the bed holding onto her hand.


	6. Chapter 6

Lavellan's POV

I wake in the middle of the night; to find my body so sore it is beyond description. I look around and see no one, but when I look down to myself, I see Solas. I smile, for seeing his face again fills my heart with joy. I reach out to touch him, only to stop half way. I cannot, I remind myself, not without risking waking him. He's fallen asleep next to the bed. Most likely he was afraid to harm me in his sleep. Oh my love...I'm sorry. Quietly and gently I remove my hand from his, and stand up from the bed, careful not to trip over him as I do. My armour is missing, but I guess that's understandable. In truth it's better this way. I will be quieter.

I struggle to walk, my lungs are burning, my ribs feel broken, but I continue. I cannot be here, not now...it is not safe. Gradually, I make my way to the eluvian, arriving just before sunrise. I hold myself up using the mirror's frame as a crutch, and stare into the sky. "May this sunrise bring light into this darkening world." I say aloud as I step through the mirror, and into the crossroads. As quick as I can, I stagger to Morrigan's eluvian and tumble through onto the other side...

There is chaos around me, on the other side of the eluvian. My consciousness fades in and out. I can hear Morrigan's voice shouting down into the courtyard for help. She sounds so concerned. What could be so wrong? I think, as I try to look around...but I can't. Why? I can barely keep my eyes open…soon I black out, only to wake up in my bed.

"What in the world, did you get yourself into Inquisitor?" Morrigan asks from the corner of the room.

"What do you mean?" I add, as I try to sit up. I am immediately met with agonizing pain across my body. Suddenly realizing that even my eyes feel heavy and sore. "What's wrong with me Morrigan?" I look to her with concern.

"Tis impossible to tell. You're body's fine, but...you might like to see it for yourself." she moves a standing mirror next to the bed, and motions for me to remove my covers.

Looking into the mirror I am met with a grim, dull face, but still, I do as she suggests. I gasp loudly, as I remove the covers from my body. What happened? I think shocked as I look down at my poor body. My skin has bruised all over, purple, blue, and green. My eyes are sunken in, black circles around them. The wounds that have yet to heal from weeks ago are pulled tight to their stitches; veins visible near the surface of my skin.

"What has happened to me Morrigan?" I whisper shakily.

"I know not what has occurred. Tis why I asked you in the first place. When you came through the eluvian, I was a little more then surprised. When I realized it was you, I called for help. Before they could come, you screamed in agony. Screaming at the top of your lungs about your head. "It's killing me" you yelled, "My head is on fire. Help me, please for the love of the gods, help me". I knew not the magic that would heal you, but thankfully I am not the only mage in this castle. Dorian came and heard your screams. He immediately took hold of your head and began to chant some ...spell. It must have worked, because you calmed soon after. However, only moments later you were asleep. We couldn't get anything out of you. The only thing I could understand was something about the Dred Wolf."

"So I ask again Inquisitor, what in gods name were you up to?" She asks again.

"I...I died, and Solas brought me back to life with an ancient elven spell. I know it sounds crazy... but it happened. I don't remember much, but I do remember being stabbed, here" I place my hand on my side to feel where the blade had pierced me. There is a bandage covering it now, they must have found it.

"I will let you sleep, and give Dorian the information. He wanted to know why your wounds weren't healing. Was the blade poisoned perhaps? I wonder... Alas, I will leave you now to your rest, Inquisitor." Morrigan says as she leaves, her footsteps echoing across the room.

I close my eyes and drift to sleep. That night there was a noise in my room. I groggily open an eye, and see nothing but darkness. The room comes into view slowly, and as I survey it, I see nothing. I look again and see movement over by the fireplace. There is a figure standing there, leaning against it. Hiding slightly in the shadow of the light.

"Why did you do it? You knew you were safer with me than here. No one knows the arts of healing as well as I do Vhenan." He turns from the shadows and into the dim light of the fire. His face is lit by the firelight, making his features appear sharp and melancholy.

"Was what I did for you not enough to show you that I care? You meant to destroy everything I had worked on for years. You threatened it so greatly that I couldn't bear to be close, for fear I might change my mind. Even though you could change everything, I still could not let you die. And yet still you ran away from me in the darkness of the night?" Solas says with a sting in his voice.

I hold the covers tight to my body, covering as much of my face and neck as possible. I don't want him to see me this way, to appear as a walking corpse. But, he cannot be real. Solas is far from here. How could he enter the castle without anyone knowing? "Go away spirit, you have no sway over me here. Be gone." I say firmly as I wave my hand in his direction. I close my eyes, and open them slowly. He is still there, unmoved from the fireplace.

"I am no spirit ma vhenan. I am here, as much as you are there laying in that bed across from me. Now answer me, because I need to know. Why did you run from me?" He walks away from the fireplace, and closer to the bed until he is sitting next to my legs.

"I…couldn't let you see me. Not like this. I couldn't let you hear the pain exploding inside of me." my voice cracks as I speak.

"Ar lath ma (I love you) ma vhenan, why would you not allow me to comfort you in your suffering? To heal your wounds, body and soul? What are you afraid of me seeing?" He places his hand on my leg gently, but even gently it stings. The nerves across my body have become so sensitive; every movement has become difficult to bear. He sees me tensing up as he touches me and pulls away his hand.

"Did you run away in fear?" he adds while looking away.

"No! I am in pain my love. My body was dead. Do you not understand? My flesh rotted while I was away from my body. The muscles began to pull away from my bones, the nerves in my skin died and my blood thickened. I am left to try to mend this, on my own. Who would want their love to stare at their dead body? I do not want to see pity in your eyes when you look at me. I want to see love, and desire...but not pity and sadness."

"You will never see pity in my eyes when I look at you ma vhenan. You should have stayed where you were. I could have healed you faster. Your body would have had rest, and you wouldn't have had to let others touch and prod your body. What could be so bad?" He asks agitated, maybe even jealous?

Why doesn't he understand? I think, "This, could be so bad Solas." I say as I pull the covers away from my body and expose my bruises to him. He stares at me while standing still, and unmoving. I've done it, suddenly devastated at my actions. I disgust him. This is the first time he's seen so much of my body and he will forever think of me as a walking corpse. I quickly pull the covers back over me, red faced. "Just leave Solas. My body will heal eventually, and I will return to hunting you down." I say with a huff

His face softens as he reaches for my hand. "Now why would I have come here myself if I had no desire to be here? I came here to take care of you, so let me." he kisses my hand lightly as a warm feeling passes from his hands and into mine. The bruises begin to heal.

I open my eyes to the morning light. It shines through the stain glass windows like that of a church. I look around the room in search for Solas, but he is not there. "Solas?" I say weakly. The room remains silent…But, he was here, wasn't he? I slowly sit up in my bed, and notice that my body is less sore then other days. I have been resting now for almost a week now, so maybe he was just in my head?


	7. Chapter 7

Dorian's cheery voice can be heard from the halls beyond my room, chattering away to himself. I swear, he must talk simply to hear himself speak sometimes. "Ah hah, there is my sweet patient. Obediently staying in bed as I told her I see…" he says with a sly smile. "How are you feeling today Inquisitor? Any more dreams about fucking Solas?"

I cough at his words, "What? I haven't had such dreams Dorian. Where did you hear that?"

"Why, from you of course my dear Inquisitor. You speak in your sleep when your heavily dosed, and might I add quiet descriptively." He adds with a wink.

My face must be as red as a tomato, because he simply smiles wider and continues. "Don't be shy. I was the only lucky soul here to listen to your tales of debauchery. Though, with such detailed ideas I cannot help but wonder if maybe someone's been lying to me about sleeping with Mr. melancholy". He wags his finger at me pretending to be disapproving.

"Oh Dorian, don't be so…" "Accurate?" he adds before I could finish my sentence. "Before you say anything, remember that I was with you on those long …cold journeys with him. I saw how close you two got."

I frown, and look away from his eyes in embarrassment, "No, we never. He remained distant on our journeys, but emotionally I feel we were as close as you describe. Last night, I could have sworn he was here with me. He was so upset, so disappointed that I left him while he slept."

"Well, you're looking surprisingly well today, but sadly he was not here. I was in your room for most of the night, and had people checking on you every few hours in the morning. If he had been here I'm sure he would have enjoyed your ideas, perhaps took part in some when you awoke". He lifts my covers abruptly, and stares at my body.

"Um, excuse me? I'm sort of half naked Dorian. Are you sure it's not incredibly rude of you to be staring? I say as I try to pull the sheets over my body, but he manages to keep them off and says "Don't be silly my Dalish sweet. There's nothing here I haven't seen this week, and nothing I'm interested in. You know my flavor of choice." He takes a small knife out of his sleeve and pricks my leg lightly. I jump at the feeling, but remain relatively unbothered by it." What the hell Dorian?" I say as blood drips easily from the wound. "Remark-" he tries to say before a burst of energy assaults him, pushing him across the room.

"Makers tits, what was that?" Dorian says as he steadies himself "I was almost thrown off the bed!"

"I don't know what that was. I've never seen it happen before. Do you think it had something to do with the runes on my arm?" I say confused.

He walks back over to me, a little more cautiously then before.

"Look at that. The wound I just made has all but healed. I noticed a magical aura around you when you came through the eluvian, but I assumed it was an after effect of being resurrected. However, the aura has only gotten stronger over the passed week. Can I play a hunch? It's wild and crazy but that's just the sort of thing I'm into." He says smiling, before taking off into the hallway.

"I guess so?" I say to no one. As he leaves, I pull off the covers and move over to my dresser. Moving is not easy, but it's so much easier then it has been for the last few days. I pick out some comfortable clothing, and managed to make it to the balcony, before hearing Dorian enter the room again.

"And where is my little bird flying off to now? I thought we were going to try my hunch?"

"I just wanted to get some fre-" he cuts me off again.

"Here hold this, and think of something emotionally strong for you. Solas trying to destroy the world could be a good example." He says quickly before handing me some strange glass object.

I look at him skeptically, but after some time I hold it in my hands, and close my eyes. I think of the time when Solas first let his words of affection slip. " _I felt the whole world move_ "..

 _He looks off into the sky, focusing on the rift above us._

" _I did, I told myself: one more attempt to seal the rifts. I tried and failed. No ordinary magic would affect them. I watched the rifts expand and grow, resigned myself to flee, and then…It seems you hold the key to our salvation. You had sealed it with a gesture…and right then, I felt the whole world change."_

" _Felt the whole world change?" I say with a soft smile._

" _A figure of speech" he adds._

" _I'm aware of the metaphor. I'm more interested in "felt"."_

" _You change…everything." He says smiling._

" _Sweet talker." I say before turning his face to mine, and kissing his lips hungrily. I pull away for a moment, only to be pulled back for a deeper, more physical kiss. He pulls away again after a few moments. He stares into my eyes and kisses me again…_

"Now look at that." Dorian says in awe.

"What? What's happening?" I ask curious, but worried that if I open my eyes, whatever is happening will stop.

"Open your eyes. You'll have but a moment." He says before I open my eyes and look down to the glass object.

The prism-like object now has a beautiful red rose inside of it. It has fresh dew on its vibrant red pedals. As I gaze down at it, it begins to disappear. I look up to Dorian.

"You chose a loving memory I see. It must have meant a lot to you, to be so vivid." He adds as he takes the prism from me.

"This thing here is, a method that some magisters used to determine if a pupil had any magical talent. What you did just there is impossible. You weren't a mage before now were you? You know, hiding it away somehow?

"What are you talking about? I'm not a mage, or haven't you noticed? I carry a large sword around on my back, not a staff Dorian."

"Well, just so you know. You are now. If you want proof, why don't you try focusing on a particularly agitating memory while looking at…that chair." He says with a smirk.

"What will this prove? That I'm gullible, or that you're jokes can be cruel?" I do as he says regardless of its plausibility. Closing my eyes, I think of the most agitating memory I could come up with…

"Rhaah…"I shout, and I clench my hands tightly at the thought. "…Dorian, this is stupid I…" I open my eyes, and look at the chair. Its splintered pieces are spread across the room, and Dorian is staring with his mouth open wide. "Is that how you greet your courters too? Seems a bit presumptuous doesn't it?" I say with a smile.

"Do you see what you just did? Look at that chair! There's nothing left of it!" Dorian says his arms waving in the air.

"Oh yes, of course. I must have done that. It couldn't have been you playing a trick on me. How long do you plan on keeping this up? Is there anyone else in on this trick?" I walk over to him and poke him in the chest.

"It was all you Inquisitor. I swear on my life." he places his hand across his chest. "You need to train your powers quickly. If you seriously have that much raw power, you could be a danger to yourself and others. But you know it's not all bad, if we can get this under control it could be a big game changer in our plans."

"What plans? We broke his mirrors. His people are few. His mind isn't focused and we still have the anchor." I add as I put my boots onto my feet.

"I'm sorry to tell you this Inquisitor, but he's repairing the eluvians as we speak. At the rate he's going they could all be working in less then a month…where do you think you're going?" He rushes after me as I walk out into the hallway and into the main hall of Skyhold.

"I haven't finished. Just because I failed does not mean I've given up. We will continue to try until we can no longer. If he manages to break down the Veil, we're all dead…and I'm going to see Morrigan because I don't think she would mess with me the way you do."

People whisper as I pass by. "Is that the Inquisitor?", "Where has she been all this time?", "What…is she wearing?" Exactly what you'd expect from a gossip filled court. Morrigan is out in the courtyard. I see her and wave. "Morrigan, I need you to tell Dorian that I'm not a mage. He's trying to play tricks on me again." I say as I approach her.

"I cannot Inquisitor. I felt it the moment you came out of the eluvian. You were changed. Twas why I was so surprised when you came through. It made no sense and yet, there you were. I was wondering when he would bring it up." She tilts her head to the side, "Are those your sleeping clothes?"


	8. Chapter 8

"Yes, they are. I needed something that wouldn't restrict my movement and…is it that noticeable?" I ask.

"I would have said something, but since you didn't trust me earlier, I let it run its course. Dorian says.

"I don't know how it's possible Inquisitor, tis true you are a mage now. Be careful who you privy this information. Some people would throw you into a magi circle, and others would shun you the moment they heard you were tainted with magic." Morrigan says as she moves to whisper in my ear "I'm willing to help you with your education if you're willing to give it a try."

The next day we began training. It was decided that training needed to be in a private area, free of eyes, and flammable bodies. In the end we chose the Skyhold basement. The room was cleared of people and the doors locked before we began. Dorian put sound muffling runes on the doors to be sure we wouldn't receive any unwanted company.

"Now, we'll start with the logic behind the magic. By thinking about an element, you pull pieces of it out of the Fade. Some are easier to call upon then others, and normally one has an affinity for one or more specific elements. That is why some people have a specialty. It came to them naturally. Let's hope yours is something powerful, eh?" Dorian says as he elbows me in the ribs.

"Ok, so how do I start doing things?" I ask as I grimace and move a little further away from Dorian.

"Let's see what element your connected to first. There's an easy way to check." He rummages around inside his bag and pulls out a candlestick, drinking flask, a small purse and a hand fan.

"So, what you need to do is think about the specific element while handling the related object. Such as…holding dirt, while thinking about earth. Incredibly difficult, no? There are other aspects in magic, but we'll start with the basics and move our way up. Elves are generally good at nature-based magic, so here, take the dirt and try it out." He tosses me the small purse. Emptying its' contents into my hand, I do as he says and think about dirt. Nothing happens.

"Don't just think about dirt Inquisitor! Think about its' power, the mountains, earthquakes, and mighty forests." He says while I stand there, thinking about earth. After what seems like an hour he tells me to stop.

"Alright, forget about earth! Let's try water. Do the same thing, but with water this time. Some people need to feel it in their hands to get it to work; others prefer to keep their hands dry. Choose what feels the best."

As I hold the drinking flask in my hands, I close my eyes and think of water's power. It's ability to destroy, and to heal. I smile as I think of the time I sat under a small waterfall. The feeling I had as the water rushed over my body was exhilarating! I think about how water embraces you, keeps you warm and cool, as you need it. It was always how I needed it to be. Warm to heat my chilled bones, and cool to calm my fiery temper.

"That's it girly!" Dorian cheers. "What's it?" I ask, as I open my eyes. Immediately, I'm soaked, and the flask falls to the floor, empty. "What the hell Dorian? Why am I all wet?"

"Were you thinking about Solas? I'm sure that could be why you would be wet." He answers with a wink. "You're definitely associated with water my dear Inquisitor. The water came out of the flask and was covering you like a second skin. It was a very sexy trick. Maybe Solas would enjoy having you twice as wet as normal. Try to remember what you did, so you can show him."

"Well, great. Yay for water, and all that. What do I do about my drenched clothing now though?" I say laughing, a smile across my face. Water? Water was always associated with the healing arts, so much for "powerful".

Weeks passed as Dorian and I worked on my basic training in the healing arts. Oh, there are some offensive spells, but the majority are defensive and endurance. Technically, there couldn't be a better match with my skill set, as it will keep me alive longer. The only important thing we had to work on was my armour. If I wanted to have proper flow between the Fade, I could no longer wear plate. Varric managed to get some really nice mail armour from a Tevinter smuggler. There are some plate pieces, but mostly it is mail and cloth. It must be at least 40 pounds lighter then my other set.

Morrigan and I worked on a different set of abilities. The attunement of ones' self. We discovered a few areas in the Fade, and managed to uncover a few small mysteries from the past. It was fun. I enjoyed being there. I imagine it would have been something Solas and I would have done, if he were here…. Solas, where are you now? It's been weeks since I last dreamt of him, and even longer since we last met. According to Leliana, all of the eluvians should have been repaired by now. All that effort had gone to waste. Weeks wasted, but at least there were some benefits to my failure. Today I may not be a master of my abilities, but I've become more focused. At first, my spells were so powerful, and uncontrolled that it was hard to keep others from knowing what we were doing. One night, Morrigan and I went out onto the barracks to practice some new spells. They weren't too showy, so she thought we would be safe. Boy, was she wrong! The first few spells went well and without incident, but for the last spell. She had me stand on top of the Inn's roof, and change into a bird. She said that the reality of falling would encourage my transformation. Which would have been great, if I had transformed. Instead I simply ended up jumping off the roof and landing on my face in front of everyone in the Inn.

The Bull and Sera still have a laugh about it every time I see them. I told them that Dorian had given me some tonics to sleep, but that it ended up being a completely different type of concoction.


	9. Chapter 9

Tonight, Morrigan and I are going out. She agreed to take me away tonight, as she understood how I felt. The separation from Solas has grown into an ache more difficult to stand, than the throbbing of my arm. Somehow she knows where he's gone, and is willing to take me to him. When I asked her how she knew, she frowned and said that some things are better left unknown. The more time I spent with her, the more I've grown to care.

"Where are we going Morrigan? We've been flying for hours." I say.

Morrigan lands on the ground as a high dragon. As I jump off, she quickly transforms back into herself. "We had to fly far to be sure that we were not followed. He should be in this area, unless he sensed our presence and fled." She says while looking around.

"You were not hard to see." Solas responds as he walks out into the clearing.

"We were not hiding from you, Solas. We were hiding from the others. They would not understand why we are here." I say as I walk to him.

Morrigan abruptly grabs my hand and looks into my eyes. "Be careful Inquisitor, the heart is the most vulnerable part of a woman. Don't let him break it." With that she releases my arm reluctantly. Looking back, she waits until I nod before flying off into the night.

"I do not understand why you are here vhenan. I thought you were afraid of me? After all, you did run away the moment you were vulnerable." He's standing with his hands behind his back. His face looks so impassive.

"I'm here for my heart." I look up and cup his face softly with my hand, "Did you not miss me emma lath (my love)?" My eyes are full of longing, and heartbreak.

When he does nothing, I say, "I've never felt more vulnerable then when I'm with you, whatever state my body is in, my soul has always been left bare."

Slowly he looks down, his face quickly softening to one of love. He places his arms around my shoulders and lets me rest my head against his chest. "Why couldn't we have had a normal life, instead of this fucked up mess we're in now?" I say as I sob quietly into his chest. He brushes my hair tenderly with his hand and holds me closer.

He sighs, "Because the fates are not kind ma vhenan. We cannot always have what we wish, but we must be grateful for what little we do have. I have been grateful for every moment we have had together, no matter how short or unusual." His face is full of remorse.

"I came here in hopes that this could be real, for at least one night. No titles, no nations, and no missions. Only our two souls laid bare before the Creators." I say softly as I look up into his eyes to hear his answer, but before I do…he kisses me passionately. His hands start at my shoulders, but then move lower to pull my hips roughly against his. It is then, that I notice his erection underneath his clothing. It's startling at first, but knowing how aroused he is only makes me feel more excited. The kiss deepens as our tongues touch; gently discovering the inside of each other's mouth.

I pull back slightly as my kisses move their way from his lips to his jawline, then down his neck. Where I delicately bite his skin until a small purple mark is left behind. He is mine, and I would mark him as mine. I think, as he seems to growl at my actions. I look up slightly alarmed, to see him staring at me with unreadable eyes. He delicately moves my hair behind my shoulders, before bending down to kiss my neck. My heart flutters at the sensation. His kiss becomes harder until the pain is noticeable, but just as it came it went. "You are mine emma lath. As much as I've tried to let you go, I am too selfish to share you. I could never manage to stay away from you, no matter how much I tried. If I could, I would have you as mine without end." And with that, I am lost in his arms. I have never felt so safe with anyone, and yet nagging in the back of my mind I know I should not feel this way. He is dangerous, and possibly mad, but all I can think of is how much I love him.

We pull away from each other after some time, breathless. "This is not how I saw us meeting when I sensed you and your friend. I had thought, you had come to try to dispatch me again. I am thankful it was not as I believed." He says as he takes my hand and kisses it ever so softly. Hand in hand Solas leads me through the woods. We stop at a tiny camp, presumably his. It is small and clean, a single bedroll, and a small fire under the open sky. If I look closely, I can see that there are noticeable broken down brick walls in some areas. The camp must be in a small ruin… "You always did enjoy sleeping among ruins Solas. Did you dream of its past?" I ask while moving to sit on the bedroll, inviting him to come sit next to me.

"Yes, I did, but that's another story, for another time emma lath." He walks over to me, and gives me his hand motioning for me to stand up. "Give me the pleasure of removing each piece of your clothing. To uncover the breathtaking treasures that lay beneath it." He moves behind me and begins to unlink my armour. Each time he removes a piece of clothing; he kisses each inch of uncovered skin. Every so often, he bites my tender flesh, which makes my hairs stand on end. Soon, I stand naked before him, and his eyes freely roam my body. Gently he leads me onto the bedroll, kneeling me down as he kisses my lips passionately. Between my legs he spreads his warm hands across my stomach. The sensation is electrifying. It's as if, small electric shocks are tickling my skin.

As I look up at him I feel a terrible hunger, stronger then I've ever known before. I reach up to remove his armour, only for him to take my hand firmly in his. "No! Do not touch me just yet. The thought of you alone is exciting enough. It is too soon. I don't think I could control myself." I smile at his considerations. If my body had its way he would be inside of me right now, and we would be grinding each other, moaning on this blanket until morning. His hands caress up my thighs as he leans on top of me, sucking on my lower lip. My hands are held above my head, as a hand pushes my legs apart.

"I want to look at you." his tone is deep and hoarse. " You are beautiful…." His hand touches my inner thighs, and I can feel the heat radiating off him. My body trembles as his other hand slips between my legs and brushes against my moist slit. Although I am no virgin, I feel as if it is my first. I feel vulnerable, and at his whim. He caresses my breasts now, making them swell with each touch. My nipples are hard and sensitive. It is then he takes one in his mouth and triggers the first moan to escape my lips. When he hears my moan he looks up from my breasts with a wolfish grin. Soon he is tracing his tongue in circles, while the other hand gently massages my other breast. My breathing slows, as his mouth leaves my breasts and travels lower to my stomach where he kisses my stomach before softly biting my lower lips. I gasp, as he uses his tongue to flick my clit repeatedly. He goes lower and lower until he licks my wet slit, before plunging his tongue into my depths. I grasp onto the bedroll to keep my hands from pulling at him. I want him, so badly. I need to feel him fill my body, and make me his. I close my eyes to focus on his actions, only to feel his tongue being replaced with two fingers. I pull his face to mine and kiss him deeply, tasting myself on his lips. While kissing him, I start to feel pressure building at my core. I gently take hold of his arm "I need you Solas. Please…I am so close." He cups my face delicately and sits up in front of me, opening his arms for me to remove his clothing. Finally, it is my turn.

I start by undoing his belt, and sliding away his wolf fur. His tunic falls away easily leaving his undershirt. Once his chest is bare before me, I just stare for a moment. I let my hands trace the outline of his abs up to his nipples, where I learn forward and lick them lightly. "Emma lath…you are teasing a starving wolf. Be careful if you wish to remain in one piece…" I just kiss his lips deeply in response as my hands work at removing his pants. After a few moments he is left kneeling naked in front of me, and I am left drooling. All these months alone have given him a hardened body. While looking over his physic my eye catches something on his side. A scar. I absent-mindedly let my fingers trace across it, and look into his eyes. "Where did this come from ma vhenan? I've never seen anyone strike you." A vacant look crosses his face for a moment, "It happened a long time ago. It does no good to dwell on the past. It is nothing. Please, continue…" I frown slightly at the vague answer, but it doesn't matter. Not right now at least.

I roll him onto his back, letting him fall roughly onto the bedroll. My legs straddle his waist as my hands run across his stomach. Even now I can smell my arousal in the air, and I can see from his face that he can smell it too. His beautiful body has no hair on it. He is smooth, muscular and enticing. My lips are busy with his, as I grind myself against his stiffening cock. He grunts, trying to hold back. Always holding back. His hands move to my waist as I begin to move my hips in a rhythmic motion. His hard cock rubbing against my wet lips, lubricating it with my arousal. I can feel his heart pounding in his chest, and smell the sweat glistening on his body. He looks as if he is in pain, holding me tighter as I position myself over him. Letting his cock feel my slick wetness. Just as he is about to speak, I drop myself onto his cock, burying him deep within me. His burning touch fills me completely. It feels so tight. "I can't stop…I need to keep moving." He says as he starts to pull out, only to thrust into me again rougher, and harder. The pain is slowly ebbing away each time he enters me, massaging me from the inside with his delicious cock. Pleasure now replacing the pain. Exhaling loudly, he grabs my shoulders and rolls me onto my back. Lifting my legs over his shoulders, he drives into me again. The angle is hitting every nerve, making it feel astonishing; I don't know how to describe it other than breathtaking, because several times when he thrusts into me I lose my breath. His thrusting becomes wild, so much so that it's hard to hold onto him. The sensations going through my mind are bewildering, leaving me helpless to his needs. I never want this to stop. I am in bliss as I wrap my legs around his waist and feel the tightness coming again. " Dread wolf take me…" at my words he pauses, only to grin as each thrust becomes slower, deeper, grinding himself against my clit drawing out moans and cries from my lips. I bite my lip to prevent a moan from escaping as the waves of pleasure spread across my body.

It's no use, and I cry out, spurring Solas to finish. His load fills me to the brim and more as it begins to spill out of me. Leaving us wet and sticky, "I think we're going to need a bath, love." I say as his body collapses on top of me. The weight of his body feels good, but he soon rolls over next to me. Now laying on this bedroll together our sweat cools, leaving us chilled. He reaches for a blanket and covers us with it. We are breathless, left staring at each other. He reaches out to touch my face and smiles, as I pass out from fatigue. _Gods, I love it when he smiles_ I think as I slip into the darkness.


End file.
